He said he is leaving. I had no time to react. I was supposed to go online to start my lecture in the next few minutes. Before that I had to give finishing touches to my notes too. Already I was running late in preparing for the lecture. These days everything is at the eleventh hour. Having a work-life balance is a forgotten concept. No complaints whatsoever. Interestingly, the topic of my lecture for the day is about resilience and agility for librarians. What a stark contrast of situations! Sigh! I did not say a word. Silently I did my part of formalities.
I sat at my desk and opened my slides and notes. Mechanically I ran through the slides. Words in my notes were dancing before my eyes. His words were ringing in my ears. It was getting difficult for me to concentrate. I closed my eyes tightly, took a deep breath, and reprimanded myself – “nobody is indispensable”; remember? This is what the Head of the Division said to my Reporting Officer when my contract got over in my very first job and she went to him with a request to extend my contract, out of the way. I made myself indispensable wherever I worked. But the organizational rules and life do not let you become indispensable in reality. However, change, separation, ending, movement, and relocation, more often than not, are bitter and harsh. One man’s gain is another’s loss. What happened just now, today’s reality, is standing in front of me and staring in my face. Next to it is standing a question – what next? In the mean time I got a phone call. The voice on the other side said, “He called me, wants to see me immediately for the formalities, says he doesn’t have time to wait till the next working day. Did you talk to him?” I said, “I did not say anything because this time I cannot stop him from going. His life, his choice.” The voice on the other side sighed and hung up. With great difficulty I brushed aside these uncomfortable thoughts and picked up the slides and my notes. Quickly did few last minute edits, while I was called to go online. Since morning I had been exchanging Teachers Day greetings and so also as soon as I entered the online class. Wanting to have an opening slide with greetings for the occasion, I borrowed a couple of minutes by asking for a quick round of introduction from the participants in the class. As soon as I was ready, I started my lecture. I had an initial fear whether I will be able to deliver the lecture properly. For one, it was a last minute arrangement; secondly, I thought the train of emotions and feelings that erupted due to the googly that was thrown in my face just before the class, would interrupt my flow. Anyhow, after wishing them all a happy Teachers Day (well, we do celebrate a Librarians Day on 12 August, the birthday of Dr. S. R. Ranganathan, The Father of Library Science in India; but I guess by virtue of being academic librarians, we are all teacher-equivalents; we teach information literacy), I started off with my topic for the day – The resilient and agile librarian. Having heard many experts before me for the past two weeks, this topic was, kind of, quirky to them. Mine was the last lecture in the Refresher Course for Working Librarians. I started teaching in my own style, unconventional in nature, that I have mastered over these 22+ years of professional life. A picture is worth a thousand words – this is my belief. Well, I was pleasantly surprised that once I got into the skin of a teacher, there was no stopping. I was enjoying the flow of my thoughts and words. So also my audience, because occasionally but definitely I was counter-checking with them if both the teacher and taught are with each other. What started with explaining change, resilience, agility, adaptability, and went on to touch flexibility, adaptive capacity, resistance to change, so on and so forth with liberal sprinkling of examples from real life, particularly, the cause and effect phenomenon of COVID-19 and library services, suddenly came to a very brief but a jerky halt, as if applying sudden break, when I came to the slide where I was supposed to explain the three types of flexibility- cognitive, emotional and dispositional. I must confess that the train of emotions and feelings that erupted as a result of the morning’s googly were running helter-skelter at the back of my mind throughout my lecture causing a chaos in my mind. I was speaking but I could sense that there is an underlying disconnect between the slides and my words. The audience does not know this nor can it sense this. It was not all that evident. But I know. Why was I stuck? Is it because I was silently evaluating myself all the while? I was questioning myself, how resilient am I, how agile am I, how adaptable am I? Do I have that needed flexibility? I know one thing for sure that I have always been a lifelong learner and will continue to be one. The learn-unlearn-relearn iteration is very natural for me and runs inside me involuntarily. But the point to ponder is – why was I stuck at the slide about the three types of flexibility? I understood. I was stuck because of the example that I gave with respect to Dispositional Flexibility.
What is Dispositional Flexibility?
It is to remain optimistic and, at the same time, realistic. This is what I read
out explaining Dispositional Flexibility – “Leaders who display
dispositional flexibility (or personality-related flexibility) operate from a
place of optimism grounded in realism and openness. They will acknowledge a bad
situation but simultaneously visualize a better future. They are neither
blindly positive nor pessimistic and defeatist. Ambiguity is well-tolerated.
Dispositionally flexible leaders see change as an opportunity rather than as a
threat or danger.” And, gave
the example of a situation where an A player in your team wants to leave
and how you are supposed to respond. I said accept the situation gracefully,
because nobody is indispensable. As a leader, be optimistic and do not let
pessimistic thoughts surround you. Be optimistic but not overly positive about
the situation. I said, acknowledge the arrival and entry of the negative emotions
and feelings inside you; do not shut doors on them. I said let the grief of
having to lose an A player enter you, let the sadness sink inside you
because it is your loss, after all. But do not let them stay inside you. Understand
the ground reality. But be open to the change. Because it may be your loss, but
it is his gain. Wish him well. It may be chaotic and ambiguous for you, as a team
leader. So, will you become a defeatist? No! How does a team leader become a
defeatist when he doesn’t have control over the happenings? Somewhere amidst my
speech and thoughts I am reminded of the concepts of Circle of Control, Circle
of Influence and Circle of Concern, that I often advocate to my near and dear. I
pat on my shoulder myself, mentally and say to myself, this too shall pass.
Change is itself characterized by change. Change is moving from an old state to
a new state; from the past second to another new second in time. Time doesn’t
wait for anyone. I seek one quick confirmation from my audience for their
presence and step on the accelerator to wrap up my lecture with a slide on
difference between Change and Transition. Once again I readout to my audience –
“Adapting to change requires flexibility. Transition is the
internal psychological process of adapting to a new situation.
Transition can happen quickly or slowly.” My mind let out a shallow squeal – Dispositional flexibility, in particular.
I shushed my mind and went on to tell the audience about the three stages of transition
and a few tips to navigate the transition fruitfully. My lecture was very well
received and lauded. They said it was very different from what they have heard
till now. This is the usual reaction I get, always. I am glad for not succumbing
to the train of emotions and feelings that erupted in me because of the googly
thrown in my face just before my lecture. Besides, I am glad for making sense in
whatever I taught to them today. I was relieved that I could deliver perfectly
well, rather more than what was expected of me, despite all odds. After I
completed the lecture, I sat down for a while gazing at my computer screen
where the three stages of transition that I read about are gazing back at me.
- Accept the Ending
- Live in the Neutral Zone
- Reach your New Beginning
I gathered my things and shut shop
for the day. Came home. Checked time. Picked up my phone and made a call. The
voice on the other side responded, affectionately, as always. We discussed a
few things that needed to be taken care of. It is then that I realized the
three stages of transition need not be strictly linear or sequential. They can
be iterative too. Because, I was communicating to the voice on other side about
how to plan and execute the stages one and three, i.e., accepting the ending
and reaching a new beginning. I was seeking help from the voice on other side,
in going through this process. At this moment I cannot say anything about stage
two i.e., living in the neutral zone. I myself do not know whether I will or not,
pass through this stage. Or it could be that I am unable to realize my journey
through this stage because my brain may not have been programmed to identify
this stage that my mind is passing through. It may have been programmed only to
take cognizance of the more tangible stages like ending and beginning. I do not
know what lies ahead in time. But I can certainly feel and say emphatically one
thing that the happenings around us, in our lives are not merely incidental or
coincidental. Everything happens for a reason. My choice of this topic for the
lecture, which was purely serendipitous according to my presumption, and what
happened in my team ahead of my lecture, cannot be just coincidental…. have to
be pre-programmed or pre-destined…!!
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